This write-up, I would like to dedicate to the tiny hour glass gifted to me by my senior-cum-friend on his return from his first on-site project trip to Korea !
Least had I imagined that this small gift would become the center of this piece I was going to write months later..............................
Another 10 days….and I would have spent 12 long months, or should I say a period which passed like a flurry, here, in my city of perfect imagination, Bengaluru, maintaining the twist given to its name ! :)
Not that I have changed my opinion about its shades, just that I discovered myself again and again in every stroke it offered.........and I cherished it !
Soon, people became more important than places and times I spent with them mattered more than the times I spent alone.
I, once again, learnt to love and question it myself, sometimes taking a few steps back, at others, awaiting a miracle that could provide me the strength to move ahead.
However, diving into the mysterious sea of feelings, I made friends and a place for myself. Certain spaces and corners of my mind strictly and widely reserved for a select few, which at times seemed to be overpowering but again circumstances said it was best to shrink them.
I met diverse people, young and old, common and extraordinary, people I could never come to terms with and others who at once seemed mine ! Be it doctors, software engineers, scientists, IAS officers, criminal lawyers or simple businessmen, I had a reason to remember them all and each day, I walked home back with a bagful of memories and experiences I couldn’t stop narrating to my soul-sister, my Mom….. all the time, standing in the bus, waiting on the platform, munching at my late afternoon lunch or feeling dead-tired !
I seemed to be recording all of them on leaves of history by narrating them to her, I wanted to be sure somebody, the one person who mattered the most to me was a part of and witnessed everything that weaved my life. She added color and meaning to the threads which were fastly spinning a yarn, and only The Almighty knew what was being woven all throughout !
There are times I prized staying with a family out here, getting to see how a real family lives and loves, having the leisure of so-called basic comforts which otherwise seem too unapproachable for many a men, I having been one of them all this while.
At the same time, I learnt to realize the confinements and restrictions we are supposed to follow without the need of mention which was quite an eye-opener for me, as I had always been free enough to follow my will without a question. I frequently resented but gradually respected those restrictions which are again a blessing in disguise since they mean that there is somebody holding the gears so that all goes well for me.
The undulations often bruised the already fragile relations but they prompted me to make an effort to heal them and in return, gain valuable insights and make bonds that never break, no matter what. I visualized some of my most awaited moments in life not without those I now so strongly bonded with….or who knows they might be the ones, and I pray they do, to lead me to those moments.
I enjoyed mentorship at work and affection in team, added meaning to what I was doing, which might or might not seem important to others.
The process of making new friends continued and without much effort or I would say I was fortunate enough to find a companion of all times. :)
Rightly said, ‘If you love somebody, it means you love yourself !’
And I got somebody to shower all my affection on , share some of my worries , be playful with, eat out at my favorite outlet together, hang around on the brightly colored streets I always strolled alone on, go for long rides, or simply sit and talk ! I found time to be myself anytime and everytime and to correctly admit, I was happily satiated. Performing small acts to show my adoration was something I always yearned for and I got several opportunities to do it and…….I wanted it to stay like this forever.
Although the evil mind several times tried to question my heart and still does, but getting what I got and that too forever is anytime a fairer bargain than losing things by expecting more !
What else, my friend-cum-senior-cum-mentor whom I cant resist admiring, finally took the decision to explore that inner self rather than earning bread and butter and following the common trend.
Needless to mention, that decision of his stirred up my conscience and at least for a few flashy moments, I questioned myself as to when that day would arrive for me, if at all it would.
I strongly wish there could be two lives, one which we were required to lead to fulfill the needs and responsibilities as habitants of this world, and another, which would give us all the space and time to live our desires, our fantasies, and possibly everything we could imagine !
But that’s another story and I would prefer to save it for one more though-provoking session..
To sum up, I experienced a few, not all the moments I wished to when I had come here, but I discovered a lot more and I am grateful I did, and lived them fully. They not only defined my perspective of looking at things that existed but also questioned my desire of those that could exist but didn’t
